“Change is avalanching upon our heads and most people are grotesquely unprepared to cope with it.”
–Alvin Toffler, author of Future Shock
Did you know that even the threat of death is not enough to motivate us to change? And only 1 in 9 people will make a significant change even with the threat of death? In Alan Deutschmann’s book, Change or Die, he says facts, fears, and force simply do not work. We could easily prevent tragic outcomes by simply changing our mindset. But would you work to change your mindset when it mattered most? When your life depends on it?
How to Become your Own Life Engineer
For my birthday last year, my son took me to a rock climbing gym. I went along thinking how ironic since I’m deadly afraid of heights and had no desire to learn how to rock climb. I had planned to watch him climb and be done with it.
I played along, put on the rented shoes, and climbed a few feet up the wall when he said, “Wait, I’ll take your picture.” It took him forever to take the picture, and meanwhile, I was holding on for dear life when something amazing happened. I came down off the wall and felt a sense of pride that I had accomplished something significant. I had overcome my fear. I’ve been climbing ever since.
I ascended a wall during a recent rock climbing session and reached a spot requiring a dynamic move. It’s where you’re stuck in-between holds, stretched out to the max, and the only way to reach the next handhold is to push off from a foothold, leaving yourself vulnerable to losing your grip and falling. First, you have to mentally commit to the moment, trust your legs’ strength, create momentum, and then push off with your foot with an explosive “bounce and snap” and grab the handhold above you.
It’s a challenging move, especially if you’re 40′ above the ground and scared of heights. It sometimes takes every bit of energy I have, which is rewarding because I’m amazed at the energy reserves I find within myself that I didn’t know I had. I get immense pleasure and satisfaction from conquering the move, and the wall.
This dynamic move is a metaphor for change. Change is scary; change is uncomfortable. We like to stay in our comfort zone and focus on the stability of the foothold we have instead of looking up above for the next handhold. We get sidelined for fear of what we will be giving up instead of thinking about what we will be gaining. What if, instead, we thought about the satisfaction of reaching the next level. When we accept the momentum and trust the process, we invite potential and possibilities into our lives. Amazing things happen when we surrender to the unknown.
The world is constantly changing. Everything is moving and in a state of transition. Change is all around us. We’ve all experienced change. We’ve all been through transitions. We’ve had journey’s of moving from place to place or job to job, experienced losses of family, relationships, changes to our home life, and faced health and financial challenges. Sometimes we see change coming, and sometimes we can’t see how the moment will impact and change our lives forever until we look back and assess how far we’ve come. One thing is for sure, we are forced to accept change whether we want to or not.
William Bridges, author of Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, paints a picture of how being stuck in between the known and the unknown is distressing. He says it’s “as if we’ve launched out from a riverside dock to cross to a landing on the opposite shore — only to discover in midstream that the landing was no longer there. And when we looked back at the other shore, we saw that the dock we had left from had broken loose and was heading downstream.”
During challenging times, history has shown us that people are resilient. We are survivors, and “in this together,” each of us deals with change our own way. Whether we chose to grieve or rely on hope and faith, understanding the stages of transition can empower us and help get us through times of change and the uncertainty it brings.
The Stages of Transition
The Stages of Transition
Courage is knowing what not to fear. — Plato
Endings
Transitions always start with an ending. In this phase, people identify with what’s at stake, what they are losing, and begin to learn how to manage those losses. There’s an internal psychological process of determining what is over, what to let go of, and what to keep. It’s like spring cleaning your life’s closet.
“When in doubt, stand still and wait until the way forward is clear.”
–Julie Andrews, Mary Poppins Actress
Neutral Zone
After letting go, there’s an in-between time when the old is gone, but the new isn’t yet in place. This is a feeling of full blow flux, where confusion and distress take over. It’s the core of the transition process when critical realignments occur. We create new processes and figure out what our new roles or identity will be. It’s the seedbed for the next phase…new beginnings.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
–Max Planck, Theoretical Physicist
New Beginnings
This stage involves adopting new attitudes and values. There’s a release of new energy, new directions, and new possibilities. When transitions are well-managed, people begin to establish new roles with an understanding of their purpose and how they will contribute more effectively. New beginnings help us reinvent ourselves and level up.
Change Strategies
“Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life.”
–Eckhart Tolle
We always have a choice whether to view change and transition as a positive or negative condition. You can find the benefit or the good out of any bad situation. During Covid-19, I’ve kept a journal of all the things I’ve done that I wouldn’t normally have the time to do. I know for many people, it’s been a giant reset and a good time to pause and readjust goals and priorities.
When change is vital, it must be mastered. Here are a few ways to make change a little more palatable.
- Be flexible, adaptable, and embrace change. When water is prevented from flowing, it becomes stagnant. Only what’s dead doesn’t grow.
- Be proactive by practicing awareness and moment to moment living. Do the things that put you in the zone, art, dance, cooking, listening or creating, music, reading, writing. There are so many options.
- Be accountable for your health and wellness. Make an assessment of where you are and where you’d like to be. What’s preventing you from making changes?
- Practice acceptance. Not accepting change is like sailing through life but forgetting to raise the anchor. Let go of regrets and grudges. Forgiveness is life-changing.
- Plan for happiness. Take time to reflect on your values and create meaning in your life by finding ways to honor your values.
Become a Life Entrepreneur
“You Improvise, You Adapt, and You Overcome.”
–Clint Eastwood in Hearbreak Ridge
Alan Deutchmann’s developed the following Three Keys to Change. They are simply:
Relate — find a person or community that inspires and sustains hope
Repeat — learn, practice, and master new habits and skills
Reframe — learn new ways of thinking about your situation and your life
Here’s a 9 step strategy I developed from business applications to inspire you to become your own Change Agent and Life Entrepreneur.
- Design and build a new plan
- Identify what needs to happen to lead to success
- Create a process to move in the right direction
- Identify stumbling blocks & hoops and hurdles you will have to overcome
- Recognize opportunities and act on them
- Trust your gut and find resilience in the face of adversity
- Test for target accuracy
- Redirect course and take action
- Monitor results, and adjust if necessary
By simply changing our mindsets, we can avoid many of the pitfalls we often find ourselves in. It takes courage to take your foot off the ledge and jump to the next level. By taking proactive steps to re-engineer your life, you will be amazed at what you will accomplish when you trust the process, and let go. Next thing you know, you may find yourself at the top of the summit.
