A 12-step guide to becoming your own superhero
Like most people, I set goals such as eating healthy, stressing less, and volunteering more. I start with good intentions to make positive changes, but real life takes over, and I struggle and fall short. And the cycle starts all over again. It’s not easy to stay motivated.
The worst mistake you can make in life is thinking failure is final. There is power in failing. Some of the best business ideas, literature, and art come from tragedy, pain, and struggle.
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” — Napoleon Hill
Setting self-improvement goals is not about keeping score or reaching perfection; rather, it’s a lifelong process of not giving up — but failing. Sometimes change is easy, and other times it is a two-step forward, one-step back process. That’s when you have the opportunity to dance like nobody’s watching.
Resolve to play more and see the world with new eyes, the way a child sees the world. Think about it. Children have no limits to what they imagine or believe. They ask questions, create with furious abandon, and lose themselves in awe making mud pies. They are innovative and don’t dwell on the past. Wow, remember what that felt like?
Here is a 12-step guide to harnessing fail-up superhero powers. Or you may want to create your fail-up guide — take what’s useful and discard the rest. Remember, have fun, play hard, fail up, smile often — Repeat.
(This list was adapted from numerous resources such as the Torah, Christianity, Zen, Buddhism, Hinduism, Aristotle, Plato, Ben Franklin, Gandhi, Confucius, Yoga, Kung Fu, and Karate.)
- Authenticity (integrity, honesty, sincerity, responsibility)
Take a personal “walkabout” and ask yourself these questions: Who am I, how do I “show up,” and who do I want to be? Am I living authentically? What do I believe, and what do I want to believe? What do I need to let go of or change? What values, needs, beliefs, and old stories am I telling myself? How can I step it up to the next level?
2. Acceptance (forgive, surrender, receive)
Forgive yourself and others. Practice awareness and think about ways you are “resisting.” Listen more and be okay with silence. Give up trying to control other people, the conversation, or the result. The ultimate act of relinquishing control is to accept and receive gifts from others (to reject the gift is to reject the giver.) Focus on being non-judgmental and accepting “what is.” Live in the moment.
3. Patience (peace, harmony, mercy)
Meditate and take time out to be still with nature. Shut off phones and other “screens” and do something unique and different with your time. Show patience when driving or waiting in a long line by letting someone else go before you.
4. Gratitude (sincerity, thoughtfulness, understanding)
Wake up every morning saying, “Thank You!” Be grateful for failures since big accomplishments take practice and more practice. Accept things you cannot change or cannot understand because that is when real growth begins. Give sincere compliments to strangers without any expectations.
5. Growth (wisdom, knowledge, diligence, persistence, effort)
Continue to evolve by seeking new habits and eliminating those qualities holding you back from achieving success. Learn a new skill, read more, and find the conviction to do something you never thought you could do. Remember, without action – you aren’t going anywhere. Persist!
6. Love (kindness, compassion, faith, hope)
Begin each day with love in your heart. See only the good in people and help them see it in themselves and others. Show compassion to everyone around you. Love all creatures. Know that how you love and treat others defines who you are.
7. Creativity (playfulness, curiosity, imagination)
Dream big and trust in what shows up. Renew your confidence by trying a new hobby or sport. Be curious, investigate your individualism and make a pact to be inner-directed and self-reliant. Rediscover the playfulness, creativity, and imagination you had as a child.
8. Courage (face your fears, bravery, humility)
Face your fears and choose to come from a place of love. Take the necessary steps to finally release any fear you’ve been holding on to. Be brave and humbly accept your shortcomings since they are opportunities for improvement and may ultimately become strengths. Set your intention to do whatever you set your mind to.
9. Happiness (humor, optimism, positive speech)
Wake up every morning knowing everything is OK, just as it should be. Be passionate about keeping a positive outlook. Practice daily affirmations using high-energy words and phrases. Create fun goals or a new bucket list and take action to make it happen. Do the work, stay committed, and find a way.
10. Balance (temperance, flexibility, self-control, fairness, moderation)
Is your life out of balance? Have you been neglecting any areas of your life that need nurturing? Should you be spending more time with your family? Need to eat better? Take time out for a “self-management” fix by getting a massage, taking a spontaneous vacation, or enjoying a relaxing dinner with distant family or friends.
11. Charity (generosity, benevolence, justice, helpfulness, hospitality, service)
How can you give back? What is calling to you? How can you best be of service? Be generous in spirit and give in various ways through helpfulness, hospitality, and courteousness. Use your skills and strengths for something bigger than yourself – the collective good.
12. Honor (respectfulness, spirituality, reverence, chastity)
Ask yourself, “who’s packing my parachute?” Have you neglected to show appreciation for someone who helps you make it through the day? Show respectfulness to people in service positions. Check-in on the elderly and sit down for a chat. Do something extra special for the people that you’ve taken for granted.
